55. Haydon's Road and Collier's Wood (for a
third time...),
The
first crawl of 2004 was the traditional Haydon's Road and Collier's Wood crawl
with Richard Bradshaw, slightly modified from last year as it started in
Wimbledon (on account that I had to get back from the Abba musical Mamma Mia
quick sharp). We kicked off in the Prince of Wales opposite
Staying
in
The
Sultan is a pub selling Hopback products and should be excellent, but for some
reason does not quite live up to expectations, even though its interior is
pleasant. Perhaps it's just a little too quiet, or old-manish to appeal to the
younger generation, or perhaps because the interior is smart pine dining room
chairs rather than soppy old sofas that you can settle into round the edges of
the pub. Even so, it's still streets ahead of some of the shitholes that I have
frequented before. And if you want beer, they've certainly got it: on our visit
they had Summer Lightning, GFB, Entire Stout and excellent (and reasonably
priced) Winter Lightning. GJ's on the other hand, situated on the main
Collier's Wood drag, had no beer, but had a couple of barmaids and a lively
clientele. It's a smart, dark wooden pub with an island bar and fine bar side
stools with good views. They even have bouncers on the door!
I
couldn't remember the Royal Standard very well this time, mainly on account
that it had no beer. It's a pub which often looks cluttered, particularly when
filled with Christmas decorations, but it's OK. We sat down with some toothless
old men, and I think we were watching wrestling on the TV, though for some
reason I've written 'Tammy Wynette' in my notes. Hmm. Opposite the terminus of
the 470 bus, one finds the Venus, a new wine bar type of place that also does
food, a little like All Bar One. Not sure why such a hostelry is found in this
sort of place but there you go. There weren't many people in there when we
tried it, nor beer or snacks, and the gents' was just a single cubicle! There
was a barmaid who we coined the phrase ‘Whigfield’s daughter’
for, presumably because this is what she would look like. Yet I'd still
consider a repeat visit (assuming it stays open...)
Last
time we went in the Victory, a pissed twat was abusing his missus. None of that
this time, but we still stood for a longer time than hoped at a bar which
didn't do any beer. It was not a partucularly special pub, very average, and I
think the toilets were dodgy before. We drank up quickly and left. Last year,
the Royal Six Bells was closed, but it has had a huge makeover this year and
relaunched itself to a more trendy set of punters as the Riverside. Trendy
sorts were drinking there, and I can only assume that the entire place was
gutted in order to fit in the renovations - for example the only trace of the
former bar is the raised drinking area, and the toilets have migrated upstairs.
Fortunately we were served Spitfire which tasted quite nice as we listened to
some live music.
Enough
of that, and off to the King's Arms, next to Merton Bus Garage and a de
rigeur South London pub, complete with high ceiling. I know what
constitutes a South London pub, though it's quite difficult to put into words.
I suppose having a large bar area, which whilst not being completely open, has
sub-areas with a scattering of tables and chairs, maybe the odd pillar to hold
the roof up. Quite a bit of dark wood inside too, and maybe some function rooms
also. Raggedy locals leaning against the bar. Needing a bit of a kick up the
arse. Young's beer, but not a good selection. Not an estate pub though, more
often found on main roads in places like Streatham. That sort of thing. On this
visit, we had the choice of Winter Warmer, Special and Bitter, served by a
barman who appeared somewhat pissed, so I only gave him 1 out of 2. But at
least there were plenty of seats. The comment 'original Caravan of Love'
by Isley Jasper Isley is written - perhaps it was on the jukebox? Worst pub of
the evening was the Lord Nelson, an empty establishment with no redeeming
features. There wasn't even any Guinness on, crap toilets, and we had to be let
out by the barman. Maybe it fills up - I wonder when? And with whom?
Another
new place was the Piano Lounge across the road set up in a shop unit, though
there was no beer (expensive bottles only). It sets itself up as a trendy wine
bar and to be fair if that is what you were looking for then it is OK. But we
were looking for real beer. Alas it was not to be in the Kilkenny Tavern, a
scruffy Irish pub with no real beer by South Wimbledon tube. Still hats off as
they do at least have a bit of live music and stay open till about midnight as
we were informed by a friendly bar maid. In terms of real beer the end of the
crawl was a bit of a let-down, but at least a few pubs have already been done
in 2004.
Dan Lovegrove
dan@doctor-lovegrove.com
Last updated 12th January 2004.