87.
Richard Bradshaw Pub Crawl X - Brighton Monopoly Board, Saturday 25th June 2005
As per usual, I turned up late on Pub
Crawl X, so Richard Bradshaw kicks off the story †...
|
2005's official crawl
(the tenth annual one) was delayed until the last Saturday in June, which
could now well become the official date. This was done to ensure that as many
people as possible could turn out as the interest for the previous
traditional Whitsun weekend was poor to say the least. The start time was
delayed by an hour to allow people to watch the rugby, with the British Lions
getting humiliated in New Zealand. Thankfully I am not a fan but did meet Mr Oliver in O'Neills at nine o'clock. Alas alcohol was not being served but Matt did
purchase me an orange juice. As soon as the match ended, though the beer
pumps flowed and a pint of Stella was bought and consumed by myself with Matt
on the Carling. Here Bunny aka Matt's brother's
mate and a random female friend of his also joined us. He was off to the
20/20 Surrey match later and made the decision in the pub
that he too would drink all day. O'Neills provided
a handy meeting point as we were soon joined by David Brown who was wearing a
British Lions Rugby top and Mark Giles who had watched the game in an unnamed
pub in Cheam where alcohol was served on the slate to the regulars. We then
moved on to Sutton Station and met Mr Andrew Wright
and Andrew Pidgely and our journey began. Grabbing
sandwiches in Croydon a quick Thameslink
train was boarded with its only stop being Brighton. However this developed a fault and we pulled in
at Gatwick for it to be rectified. A stopping service was pulling in
adjacently and a vote was taken whether we should join this as we did not
know how long we would be delayed. The vote was 50/50 when the train pulled
in. No decision was made when we saw a flurry of activity with members of the
public who had decided to switch trains changed their minds back so we too
jumped back on the original train and we were again on our way.
Alighting at Brighton it was about a ten-minute walk to London Road, our first stop. Here the first beers of the
crawl took place in the Branch Tavern. A pleasant boozer with a pool table
and a minxy if slightly overweight female player
on. No Barmaids but pleasant enough. A walk to Preston Park followed and having viewed the Park and deciding no pubs were
adjacent we walked back to The Engineer. A table was taken outside despite Mr Wright quite fancying the barmaid. A pleasant pub that
served San Miguel. Here a couple of ground rules were made. If over half the
people have finished their beer then the rest would only have a couple of
minutes before we moved on, the whip will rotate between the people on the
crawl and whoever has the whip will decide if we go in to a pub before we
reach the monopoly board destination. As Mark next had the whip he enforced a
long walk down Davigdor Road passing a couple of pubs before we came to the Palmeira.
A grubby locals, which did have a patio garden at
the back. Fairly forgettable. Hove Station was next on the agenda and after
passing what may have been a brothel we came to the originally titled
Station. This was the trendiest place so far with a conservatory area. Again
from memory there was another pool table, again with a girl playing.
|
Onto George
Street,
a shopping street with lots of trendy shops on it, atypical of a high street
in that respect. We firstly went in the Wetherspoons,
Cliftonville Inn, where an older woman at the bar chatted me up. Despite Andy W's encouragement I declined
to 'go for it'. As it was the normal cheap'n'cheerful
spoons pub I think Mark insisted we had shots of aftershock. This was
consumed whilst playing the Spot The Difference machine.
|
Mr Pidgley enforced the
whip rule and after declining the Slug And Lettuce we entered a wine bar
called Bar Lion D'Or. This was unique in the fact
it had leopardskin carpet. The only draft beer was Kronenberg although it did have three wines on tap with
Mark preferring the red with myself going for the white. Animaltastic!
A shortish walk to Sussex Cricket Club was next and
attached was a pub called the Sussex Cricketer. This was a typical Ember Inn
pub (aka Harrow like) with a garden next to some
steps to the cricket pitch. I like these pubs but they are getting too same-y
for me. Here Dr Lovegrove joined us looking far too
sober and hence takes over the write up from here on in.
|
After a somewhat protracted ride from Oxford to Brighton that
involved much dicking around at Victoria for cash and tickets, I eventually caught up with
the chaps just as they were leaving the Sussex Cricketer at 4.20. I did however
manage to bolt a swift half of Tim Taylor's Landlord at such a speed that I did
not fully assess its quality. Rich's description is pretty much spot on, but I
would add that they had Harvey's
Sussex, Young's Bitter and Bombardier too. Walking back
to the town centre, we encountered the Farm Tavern on a side street, a very
small pub with an upstairs room that we could not be bothered to access. We
loitered right in the way of the bar until we found a nice quiet seat in the
corner. The beer was pretty good for such a place - Tom Woods Bomber County, Old Speckled Hen and Greene King IPA. I was still
getting up to speed and Mark was reminding me of what a fool I had made of
myself at his wedding, so my concentration was not all there to make notes.
A few doors up was
the Coopers Cask, a pub that had a rainbow flag on the door. Normal service was
however resumed here and if I am honest this was the best pub of the day. The
gents were noteworthy in that they had a carpeted lobby, and a two man
partitioned Victorian trough, and were in keeping with the quite distinguished
interior of the pub. Fortunately we had arrived at a quiet time - there may
well have been no seats later on that evening. The beers were London Pride and Sussex, along with some quite interesting continental
offerings such as Hoegaarden, Leffe
and Staropramen, but the main talking point was the
vast array of confectionary available to the populace. They had Curly-Wurlies, sherbet lemons and Rhubarb and Custard sweets. In
fact, they managed to conjure a chocolatey drink
involving vodka and Curly-Wurlies, and we all decided
to have a shot. Not content with this, David went to the bar and purchase a
round of Curly-Wurlies. We left this pub contentedly,
and whilst everyone else had to go off into town, Matt had to go and attend 'Singalong Sound of Music'. A first for this site is below -
a video clip of Matt departing, caught on Andy W's hand held portable electric
telephone.
A bit of a walk followed, back up the hill
to the Hampton, where Andy W and Rich had formed an advanced
party as the rest of us could not be arsed to ascend
the hill. The Hampton is what looks to be a renovated old fashioned
boozer fitted with trendy drinks, coffee, and trendy seats. ie shiny leather cubes that are uncomfortable around
low tables, but has a fair enough clientele. It appears to have a Hungarian
influence, most obviously from its unintelligible menu. Apart from this,
there's nothing special although it did at least have one beer available in the
form of Harveys. Perhaps there were some lagers but I could not be arsed to make a note of what they were. On exiting, I was
entrusted with the whip and I resisted the temptation to visit a pub 20 yards
up the road and instead took us back down the hill to the Prince Arthur, past a
Gentlemans' Tailoring shop with Mr
Benn and the fez-wearing shop keeper in the window.
|
The Prince Arthur was another small side
street pub, and I can't remember much about it, apart from the fact that
sections of our party went next door for a sly hamburger at McDonalds whilst we
were there. All I recall is that it was a pretty cosy
and reasonable enough local boozer, serving Harveys
and Landlord. Evidently as I have given the toilets 1½, there must have
been a partitioned trough.
Moving closer to the sea, our next port of
call was the more lively Pull and Pump which had quite
a crusty student feel to it. The beers were Gales HSB, Sussex, Young's Bitter and Spitfire. Other than this it
was not a particularly noteworthy place although Rich managed to break a glass
by not looking where he was slamming down another glass onto the bar. Toilets poor also. The next pub, the Prince of Wales, had
been recommended by Rich, and sure enough, the Human League's 'Mirror Man' was
coming in over the speakers. The pub itself is small and cosy
and there are about four or five large booths and we were lucky enough to get
one of these to ourselves. It's also very friendly, and some kind souls on an
adjacent table took our photo. Beer was OK in the form of Shepherd Neame Spitfire and Best, but beyond the friendliness,
there's not a lot else that sets it apart.
|
Finally we had managed to get to the
seafront! But for the next pub, we dived inland slightly, down a very ordinary-looking
backstreet to stumble upon the Queensbury Arms. This very cosy
pub is bedecked in theatre memorabilia, in the style that some 'Stage Door'
type pubs in London are done. The barman was more engrossed in his
crossword than serving us, but finally we were presented with a few drinks.
Greene King IPA was the only bitter on. They had Tinita
Tikarum on the jukebox which gave it an extra quarter
for atmosphere but apart from this, nothing special, evidently so as David
Brown is more interested in his phone...
|
In the end we did get onto the seafront
and so we had to have a pint from one of the beer serving hatches that was
there, called Bar de la Mer. Fizzy pissy lager was
the order of the day, and the toilet was a single
cubicle for all to share. There was however the opportunity to drink beer on
the beach from plastic glasses, so it can't be all bad. There are a number of
these kinds of bar along the seafront, some with indoor facilities, but they
are all pretty dire. We walked past them on the promenade, and past some wooden
bollards that looked like erect cocks. At least everyone looks like they are
having a good time.
Eventually we made it onto the pier and to
Victoria's Bar, which was very mediocre and quite like the
sort of place that you might find in a holiday camp. Needless to say there was
no beer. Many of the party was becoming restless for fish and chips, but I wanted
fish and chips from a shop, and Richard wasn't hungry, so we left the others to
play on the slots for a while, and headed for town. We tried the door to the
Royal Pavillion, but it was closed, despite there
being punters inside, so annoyed at the shitness of
their attitude, we decided to go to the Sussex across the road to see whether they wanted our
custom. They did. The Sussex is a very busy pub with uninspired, shabby decor,
and was filling up with the Saturday night brigade who were
quickly progressing through the stages of pissedness.
One couple looked as though a domestic was in the offing, so we wisely
retreated with our drinks to a table. The atmosphere was still a bit shitty, so
I finished up my Sussex, the only beer on, and left.
|
The William the Fourth was a much quieter
and more welcoming pub with a slightly better kept interior, though the large
male to female ratio was a little disturbing. Again, nothing special, with Sussex and Youngs Bitter to
choose from, but it was at least more relaxed and pleasant enough for a quiet
pint.
By this time, we were ready to meet up
with the others. Via Richard's 'phone, I was engaging Andy P with the
directions to find us, as we were headed to the King and Queen (?) on the main
A23 out of the town. Richard was unable to use the phone properly at this
stage, and the bouncer at the King and Queen had also detected that he was a
bit pissed, so refused us entry. Fortunately the others had nearly caught up
with us, so instead we made a trip back from where we had come, to the Black
Horse. This pub contained quite a young crowd, a bit studenty
perhaps. Sussex and Abbot were the beer choices. I remember it
being busy, negotiating my way around the pool table, and talking to a bloke in
the gents. I also remember that we drank up quite quickly.
Having been refused entry, because there
were six of us, at a pub that I cannot remember the name of, we popped in for
one at the Jolly Butchers, which is actually a bit dodgy sounding. This was a
very cramped pub, so we sat outside. It also didn't have any proper beer and
was very expensive, yet I cannot think of any reason why it should be so
extortionate. Oh, well I suppose it was quite neat inside, but that's hardly a
reason...
Time was marching on, and Rich, David and I decided to form and advance party
to get to the Royal Standard, the last pub of the day, at about 10.40. There
was time for a swift half of London Pride. The pub was noticeable in being very
empty, only about two other people. I realised that I
hadn't had any dinner, so bolted my half and went to a nearby chip shop for
what turned out to be a magnificent fish and chips whilst David and Rich
persevered. I had actually cut it quite fine and waltzed into the station with
five minutes to spare for the last train and fortunately found everyone quite
easily.
|
|
It was quite an uneventful ride home in
the end, and annoyingly we had to stop at loads of insignificant stops. Rich
managed to pass out, although tells me that he was well enough to catch a 407
at Croydon, whilst everyone else got a taxi.
I eventually alighted at Victoria and got the coach for a restful journey back to Oxford. Unfortunately, when I alighted
the coach at Headington, I discovered that my shitty
bike had been stolen, and I had to walk back around the ring road to Kidlington, eventually arriving back in quite sober state
at 4.30am.
All in all, a good crawl again, a few mediocre pubs, but fun was had, and an
adequate way to spend the tenth pub crawl - it all worked out well without
major mishap which was the main thing. Pub Crawl XI - London Olympic venues anyone?
† Richard Bradshaw's crawl write up contributions
are identified with yellow background.
Home
Back
Dan
Lovegrove
dan@doctor-lovegrove.com
Last updated 6th July 2005.
