Dan's Internet Plaice

Introduction

We've heard all this bollocks about the Olympics going to Stratford, but that is a dump and it's North of the River. People from around the world will be greeted by a load of Cockneys, cholera ridden urchins, Pearly Kings and Queens and white van driving Essex men foisting jellied eels and rhyming slang on them? No, what you want is to have the Olympics in cosmopolitan South London. Feast your eyes on the glorious plans below, designed to make the Olympics: Cheam 2016 truly memorable. A number of venues, stretching from the true suburbs of outer london, to the wilds of Surrey, bring together the best of what England has to offer. Our logo, features the world renowned Cheam resident Tony Hancock - he would be proud. Cheam 2016 logo


Cheam Olympic Bid - venues Cheam Olympic Bid 2016 - map of venues
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Cheam Olympic Bid - Rail Transit Map Cheam Olympic Bid 2016 - Rail Transit Map
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Cheam Olympic Bid - Bus Route Map Cheam Olympic Bid 2016 - Bus Route Map
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Cheam Olympic Bid - Cheam and Croydon Tramlink Routes Cheam & Croydon Tramlink Routes
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Click here for a summary table showing the frequencies of all these bus, tram, underground and rail services, and here for a key to the symbols used.

Olympic Sports for 2016

These forty-two sports will be hosted at the following venues:
  1. Aquatics [AQ]
    • Synchronised Swimming - Cheam Baths
    • Diving - Cheam Baths
    • Swimming races - Priest Hill Aquatics Centre
    • Water Polo - Priest Hill Aquatics Centre
  2. Archery [AR] - Nonsuch Park
  3. Athletics [AT] - the new 90,000 seater East Cheam National Arena, Gander Green Lane (formerly West Sutton). Some athletics events to be held at Hooleywood (Netherne FC). Road race and Marathon to be held on a course taking in most Olympic venues, starting from Mugswell and ending at the National Arena
  4. Aunt Sally [AS] - Sportsman's Arms, Mogador; The Mint, Margery; Well House, Mugswell
  5. Badminton [BD] - Indoor Sports Complex, North Cheam
  6. Baseball [BS] - Kimpton Rec; Cheam Park Farm Junior School; Cheam High School; Howell Hill Sports Pitches (Old Suttonians FC)
  7. Basketball [BK] - preliminary rounds: Hooleywood Leisure Complex; semi-finals and finals: Showcase Indoor Arena, Priest Hill
  8. Beach Volleyball [BV] - Mugswell Village, Mugswell Sports Zone
  9. Boxing [BX] - Mitcham Boxing Academy, next door to Tooting and Mitcham FC
  10. Canoeing [CN]
    • Flatwater - Beddington Lane Rowing Venue
    • Slalom - River Wandle
  11. Cricket [CR] - Cheam Park; Worcester Park; Sutton and Epsom RFC; Howell Hill Sports Pitches (Old Suttonians FC); Chipstead; Cheam Sports Club (Peaches Close)
  12. Croquet [CQ] - Nonsuch Park
  13. Cycling [CY] -
    • Mountain Bikes - Gatwick Farm Park, Mugswell Sports Zone
    • Road Bikes - roads in the Gatwick Farm Park and Gatton Park areas, near Reigate
    • Velodrome - Priest Hill Velodrome
  14. Darts [DA] - St Oswalds Church Hall
  15. Equestrian [EQ] - Kingswood Press and Gatwick Farm Park, Mugswell Sports Zone
  16. Fencing [FN] - Kingswood Press, Mugswell Sports Zone
  17. Football [FO] - Corinthian Casuals FC; Carshalton Athletic FC; Chipstead; Hooleywood Stadium (Netherne FC); Howell Hill Sports Pitches (Old Suttonians FC); finals at East Cheam National Arena
  18. Golf [GO] - four courses: Oaks Park; Walton Heath; Eyhurst Court; Cuddington
  19. Gymnastics [GY] - all events to be held at Showcase Indoor Arena, Priest Hill
  20. Handball [HD] - Corinthian Casuals Indoor Arena
  21. Hockey [HK] - Howell Hill Sports Pitches (Old Suttonians FC); Tooting and Mitcham United FC; Sutton Common Sports Complex; North Cheam National Hockey Stadium
  22. International Roll-up Smoking [RS] - St Oswalds Church Hall
  23. Judo [JU] - Third Showcase Hall, Indoor Arena, Priest Hill
  24. Modern Pentathlon [MP] - all events (Cross Country Running, Shooting, Fencing, Equestrian, Swimming) to be held in one day at various venues at Kingswood Press and Gatwick Farm Park, Mugswell Sports Zone
  25. Netball [NB] - National Netball Court, Priest Hill
  26. Pimms Tennis [PT] [demonstration sport] - Cuddington Recreation Ground
  27. Pooh Sticks [PS] - Pyl Brook
  28. Punting [PU] - River Wandle
  29. Rowing [RW] - purpose built rowing facility at Beddington Lane Rowing Venue
  30. Sailing [SA] - Brighton and Hove Olympic Marina
  31. Shooting [SH] - Kingswood Press, Mugswell Sports Zone
  32. Softball [SF] - Kimpton Rec; Cheam Park Farm Junior School; Cheam High School; Howell Hill Sports Pitches (Old Suttonians FC)
  33. Stoolball [ST] - Sutton and Epsom RFC; Howell Hill Sports Pitches (Old Suttonians FC); Cheam Sports Club (Peaches Close)
  34. Table Football [TF] - St Oswalds Church Hall
  35. Table Tennis [TT] - Indoor Sports Complex, North Cheam
  36. Tae Kwondo [TK] - Third Showcase Hall, Indoor Arena, Priest Hill
  37. Ten Pin Bowling [TP] - Tolworth bowl
  38. Tennis [TN] - Sutton Common Sports Complex
  39. Triathlon [TR] - all events (Swimming, Cycling, Cross Country Running) to be held in one day at various venues at Gatwick Farm Park, Mugswell Sports Zone
  40. Volleyball [VY] - Fourth Showcase Hall, Indoor Arena, Priest Hill; finals: Showcase Indoor Arena, Priest Hill
  41. Weightlifting [WL] - Second Showcase Hall, Indoor Arena, Priest Hill
  42. Wrestling [WR] - Priest Hill

Key upgrades for 2016

Of course, this will require some new stadia to host the Olympic festivities. These are the key venues:

Artists' impressions of venues for 2016

Here are a selection of venues. They were refreshingly easy to fabricate. Click on an image for an enlargement:


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Dan Lovegrove
dan@doctor-lovegrove.com

Last updated 27th July 2005